Oh yeah, a lot of kids act out in order to get attention, even if it is negative attention. That is definitely a thing.
There is a difference between adult teasing and the way that children tease, though. Also, adults are better at understanding jokes and sarcasm. I appreciate that you haven't really teased me, though, because to be honest, I probably wouldn't like it. (Also, I enjoy being mysterious.) Understanding boundaries like that, too, is the mark of a more adult mindset.
You're definitely right that being dismissive isn't a good way of handling children. In another example, suppose a child genuinely believes there is a monster under his or her bed. A parent might be dismissive then, or a parent might take the child by the hand and grab a flashlight and go under the bed with the child to show the child that there is nothing to fear. I definitely know what I would prefer.
The thing about that bullying incident was that it was not intentionally violent. I don't think he was angry with me. Here is the scenario: I was holding a large, heavy object. The other guy wanted that object. I think he said, "Give me that," and I said, "No." So he tried to grab it out of my hands. In the struggle, the object ended up on my foot. This popped off my toenail, matted my foot with blood to the point that getting the shoe and sock off was problematic, and broke one of the bones in my foot. I had to have it splinted, because a cast would not have worked very well, I had to have a medical fake toenail put on because my real one had popped off, I had to soak my foot in hydrogen peroxide to prevent infection, I had to have follow-up visits with a foot surgeon, and even today, that foot is a little smaller than it should be. The growth was stunted in that foot due to the impact. I am lucky, though, because my gait is normal, and I did not get any weird infections while I was healing. I think that I am pretty much okay about the incident, to be honest, but that does not make it okay that it happened.
Basically, the first problem was that either he did not understand that taking other people's things is wrong or he did not care. The second problem is that he did not understand that, "No," means "No." or he did not care. The third problem is that he did not understand that if you fight over a heavy object, someone can get seriously hurt or he did not care.
So his thought process was probably not, "I want to hurt this person." It was probably, "I want what she has." I am not saying this is a good thing, because it is not. I just wanted to clarify the nature of the situation.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2012-02-17 04:37 pm (UTC)There is a difference between adult teasing and the way that children tease, though. Also, adults are better at understanding jokes and sarcasm. I appreciate that you haven't really teased me, though, because to be honest, I probably wouldn't like it. (Also, I enjoy being mysterious.) Understanding boundaries like that, too, is the mark of a more adult mindset.
You're definitely right that being dismissive isn't a good way of handling children. In another example, suppose a child genuinely believes there is a monster under his or her bed. A parent might be dismissive then, or a parent might take the child by the hand and grab a flashlight and go under the bed with the child to show the child that there is nothing to fear. I definitely know what I would prefer.
The thing about that bullying incident was that it was not intentionally violent. I don't think he was angry with me. Here is the scenario: I was holding a large, heavy object. The other guy wanted that object. I think he said, "Give me that," and I said, "No." So he tried to grab it out of my hands. In the struggle, the object ended up on my foot. This popped off my toenail, matted my foot with blood to the point that getting the shoe and sock off was problematic, and broke one of the bones in my foot. I had to have it splinted, because a cast would not have worked very well, I had to have a medical fake toenail put on because my real one had popped off, I had to soak my foot in hydrogen peroxide to prevent infection, I had to have follow-up visits with a foot surgeon, and even today, that foot is a little smaller than it should be. The growth was stunted in that foot due to the impact. I am lucky, though, because my gait is normal, and I did not get any weird infections while I was healing. I think that I am pretty much okay about the incident, to be honest, but that does not make it okay that it happened.
Basically, the first problem was that either he did not understand that taking other people's things is wrong or he did not care. The second problem is that he did not understand that, "No," means "No." or he did not care. The third problem is that he did not understand that if you fight over a heavy object, someone can get seriously hurt or he did not care.
So his thought process was probably not, "I want to hurt this person." It was probably, "I want what she has." I am not saying this is a good thing, because it is not. I just wanted to clarify the nature of the situation.